In my Humble Opinion – If It Doesn’t Bring You Income; Inspiration or Orgasms, It Doesn’t Belong In Your Life.

Hey Gorgeous RWs, let me tell you a bit of a personal story:

A few years ago, I went through a period of upheaval in my life, both professionally and personally. I was unsure of what I was going to do, and unsure of what I even wanted. I was overwhelmed and spiralling, hard.

One day someone said to me,

“If it doesn’t bring you Income, Inspiration or Orgasms, it doesn’t belong in your life”

I marinated on it for a few days and then realized that I had found a new mantra.

So ladies, listen up. If it doesn’t bring you Income, Inspiration or Orgasms…

It. Does. Not. Belong. In. Your. Life.

A few years ago, I was stuck in a brutal relationship with a narcissist who literally sucked every ounce of joy out of my life. And you know what I did? I stayed with him. I had a job that I loved, a low paying and easy job but I was happy there, sort of. In reality,  I was uninspired, sad and incredibly lonely.

I am in a much better place now in all three areas of this mantra, but it was not an easy road to get here. But, this isn’t about my past, this is about why you should take my new mantra to heart, because if I can make one woman’s path a little easier to navigate, I will consider that a success.

Let’s start with income:

I’m going to get this one out of the way first because I can already hear about 45% of you getting ready to type “Money isn’t everything.” Well, sure, but actually, it is something.

First of all, I am sick and tired of society making people, especially women (and especially especially creative women) feel bad for having major income goals, or expecting fair compensation for their services. Stop feeling guilty for wanting to get paid, for wanting money or for letting money be a factor in any decision you make. Money isn’t evil, and it shouldn’t be seen as such. Money is a tool that lets you do fun things, like travel, or you know, eat.

I often hear people, okay wait, let me rephrase- I often hear women express concern that they won’t be authentic if they start asking for money or that they will come across as a bitch if they demand payment for services rendered. A ball-buster, too ambitious, a bad mom, or un-feminine, and the list goes on. But you know what? I bet Oprah doesn’t sit awake at night worrying that people think she’s too ambitious, I bet Oprah pours herself a glass and sits in a damn comfy chair and does whatever the fuck Oprah wants to do.

Ladies- get on board with getting paid. Whether you’re running an empire, working a 9-5 or just wanting to make a little extra cash so you can spend more time doing what you love- money is a tool to make that happen. Money isn’t bad, or good, it’s just a means to help you live your best life.

If it doesn’t bring you Income, it should bring you inspiration:

This is a big category, because it is so broad. Truly, inspiration can come from anywhere. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you will have heard of KonMari- a way of organizing your life so that anything that doesn’t spark joy in you is thrown out. Apply this here.

Your life is too important to allow anything; mineral, animal or plant, to take up your time if it does not inspire you. Nature responds to a vacuum. Let go of what no longer inspires you and allow the universe to fill that space with things and people that do.

How can you tell if something, or someone inspires you? Trust your intuition. I know that sounds a little woo-woo but trust me when I say this, trust your gut. What is your gut telling you about the situation, person or thing? Do you walk away feeling energized? Does that book make you want to take action? Look at everything and everyone in your life and decide if it inspires you to be the best version of yourself.

A lot of this category comes down to releasing emotional blocks that are holding you back from being brutally honest about what does and does not inspire you. I could write about this forever, so I’ll conclude our inspiration section with this:

That hard truth is that the more you hold onto things that don’t inspire you, the less space you have to let in things and people that do.

If doesn’t bring you income, or inspiration, then it should bring you… ORGASMS.

I watched a Seinfield episode the other day where they talk about orgasms and how lots of women ‘fake it’. What really got under my skin was how offended Jerry was that Elaine would fake an orgasm that he almost let it ruin their friendship. Rather than honest feedback, he only wanted reassurance of his sexual abilities.

This isn’t uncommon, most men want (need) to know they’re good at sex– but they don’t want feedback. Now, I can’t speak to same sex relations but I have dated men like this almost exclusively. This, coupled with the fact that women learn from an early age that liking sex, or wanting good sex makes you an unladylike whore.

Say it with me now. Fuck. That.

If it doesn’t give you orgasms, it might be time to take a page out of Ari’s book and say “thank u, next”

Mom, if you’re reading this, skip this part.

Up until I started dating my current partner, no one had ever made me orgasm. WHAT?! Yep. BUT?!?! Yep.

Not. Once. Why? Because it was easier to do it myself. But more importantly, I was not confident enough to tell the guy I was with what would make me feel good. So, to avoid hurting someone else’s feelings, I wasn’t honest about my own. I faked it. And let me tell you, I am glad I left that behind.

No one is going to tell you this so let me. Ladies- YOU DESERVE ORGASMS. You deserve good, nay, mind-blowing sex and a partner who not only wants to give you pleasure but enthusiastically pursues it for you.

In conclusion, If it doesn’t bring you income, inspiration or orgasms, it doesn’t belong in your life.

Honestly, I could write about the importance of these three things all day and still not have hit every aspect, so I will leave you with this-

Let go of the guilt surrounding these concepts, and give yourself permission to only keep things in your life that will help you be the best you. You deserve to get paid, fairly, for your skills and/or products. You deserve to be inspired by the people you choose to interact with and the activities you pursue. You deserve great orgasms whether they come from a partner or yourself. But most of all, you deserve to pursue all of these things free from guilt.

So ladies, get out there. Get paid; get inspired; and get some.

XOXO,

S